For a while we live under in confusion, like in a stupor cloud. We can’t make sense of it all. Our signals are scrambled.
The thing is, we want to love. It’s not always that we want to be loved. We want to love. It’s in us. It’s what we are. So for a long time, we can go without actually being loved. We have so much in us, that it covers the whole situation. For a while. Sometimes for a long time.
And our ability and desire to love is exploited. Squeezed dry like a depression-era lemon. And maybe we lie withered on the ground (or soaked in wine, I won’t lie). And maybe some of us stay there.
And maybe some of us don’t.
See, there’s this thing about the whole story of getting over your relationship with a toxic person. It’s like the flu. For the most part, you have to let it run its course…aches, vomiting, diarrhea…all of it.
You have to be with it, like a wart. I think warts are a sign that our immune system might be compromised. They stick around until we get more healthy overall. That’s kind of the way toxic people stick around, too.
So you ride this ride with all its twists and turns, bumps and bustles. And you can’t get off. Oh, you can for sure disconnect. You can go no contact (YAY no contact!!) But the emotional ride must continue until it’s been fully processed. Or at least mostly processed. We all know there’s a little bit still left- a little sorrow, a little rage. It’s ok to keep those inside of us because they serve as a reminder…an immunity booster.
They say that time heals all wounds, and it does, if you are lucky. If you are not lucky, you keep the festering wound alive deep inside and you feed it and nurture it like a dark little pet. That’s how toxic people become toxic. They either can’t or refuse to allow the pain to grow them. If you think of pain as the cow sh*t of life, you must also remember that cow sh*t can help grow beautiful things.
If we are lucky, if we are intentional, if we are GOOD, the pain makes us better humans. And damn I feel lucky. Or maybe I feel blessed.
So keep riding the ride. Learn the lessons. Emancipation from toxicity happens, but you have to let nature take its course. Accept the pain, try to learn something from it and release it. Give it time.
And try to embrace and enjoy the good things here on planet earth in the meantime.
Flowers 